Dilemma

I am currently facing a dilemma that had actually been plaguing me since i was little. Of course, this dilemma is about my attitude and personality. This dilemma is centred on the difference between self-security and stubbornness. As everyone knows, I am a very quiet person who only talks when I feel that it is necessary. It might be okay in classes, but it feels weird when I'm out of class where I'm supposed to just let loose. It's hard for me to let loose especially when we're in a group. I might be loose when I am close with every single person in the group, but if even one person in the group is someone I don't know well, I become passive. As a result, it is hard for me to find good friends just by talking to them. They say that laughter is the shortest road to friendship, but I just can't crack jokes that aren't sarcastic. They only laugh at my clumsiness. I feel socially awkward. How can I make friends if all I do around people is be polite, smile, and answer questions? I ask questions myself, but they usually never go anywhere and I only ask in private. I feel like I treat everyone like my boss; so rigid, so formal, even when it is not appropriate for such attitudes. Now, are all these things part of my personality and I should be secure with myself being like this? Or are all these things bad habits that needs to be eradicated from my life as soon as possible? I've been like this for almost 10 years, so had I been secure with my quiet personality for all this time? Or had I been too stubborn to change into a better person? If I keep this attitude up, how can I live in this world? How can I bear itching everyday to join a conversation yet feeling uncomfortable being myself? What is being myself? Who am I supposed to be like? Is my quietness who I am or is it a product of some past wound? Self-identity crisis? This is my dilemma.